Better Than Reportingly

Work Is...

2005-01-11T18:27:00.000-08:00

It just is. It's going relatively well, but I still have very mixed feelings about it. The motto for 2005 will be, "Let's see how it goes".

I had an appointment with Dr. DuPont this morning... we're going to try cutting the Zyprexa again. Hopefully it will be better this time than last time. I'm feeling pretty good in general. I think things will be fine.

Back to the grind...

2005-01-03T15:30:00.000-08:00

It feels very strange after having been gone in NC for so long... but I'm back to the grind and trying to put the best face I can on it. I suppose in that sense, nothing's changed. :)

La ran into Jessica at the hospital this morning... she continued to push the idea that I should at least get an evaluation done by the vision therapist up in Encinitas... so we'll see. Insurance doesn't cover it, and it ain't cheap... also I'm still trying to find out what's up with me driving.

It seems like no one wants to come out and tell me I can't drive, OR that I can drive. If I can't, I can learn to live with it. I'd just like to KNOW.

Happy New Year!

2005-01-01T10:19:00.000-08:00

Here's to a happier and healthier 2005. :)

Still a bit sick...

2004-12-14T11:27:00.000-08:00

I've been back at the grind for a couple of weeks now, but I still have a bit of the cold I caught up north. I hope it goes away by next week... on Monday we're flying to North Carolina to visit my parents for Christmas... that'll be interesting. ;)

Sick In San Francisco

2004-12-01T13:56:00.000-08:00

I let Josh convince me that a business trip would be a good idea... unfortunately I caught a cold right before we left. Traveling while sick is miserable, even more so than normal. I had dinner with Rick last night. That was nice. I look forward to going home tonight.

I drove today!

2004-11-20T17:14:00.000-08:00

Don't tell anyone! :) I drove back and forth to the gym. I swam at the gym for the first time since the accident. So today was a day of firsts. :)

Still waiting...

2004-11-15T10:26:00.000-08:00

It's probably no surprise but I'm still waiting for word on this... :( Oh, La is at a job interview right now. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her... unfortunately the job is downtown but we'll see how it goes. :)

Almost there...

2004-11-11T13:20:00.000-08:00

I talked to the therapist about the driving evaluation yesterday. It's still not scheduled because they haven't received the doctor's order, but it will be very soon now. I also found out my driver's license is NOT suspended. So that was good. I still won't drive until the eval though.

Some good news...

2004-11-09T09:52:00.000-08:00

... my eyesight has improved measurably since my last visit to the opthamologist, and he confirmed that my double vision is indeed gone... my next appointment will be in a year. I hope I continue to see some improvement. I'm not quite there yet. Got another referral for a driving evaluation. I'm pretty sure my license isn't actually suspended since I still have it, and I never received any notice from the DMV, but I won't drive until I have the evaluation. No point in tempting fate. :)

I'm not writing...

2004-11-08T17:34:00.000-08:00

... but I am doing stuff, I swear. Things have just gotten a little weird and hectic all of a sudden. My sleep requirements have really been eating into my time to do things, also.

Steve does not do well at follow-through.

2004-11-04T15:34:00.000-08:00

Amazing that's it only a few days into November, and already I've failed to keep up with my novel-writing commitment. So sad. Well there's still a chance I can do a couple of marathon sessions to power through my backlog and catch up. I will try. I suppose the most important thing is to not put this down and find the little bit of it I've done in a couple of years. :)

Getting there...

2004-11-01T15:44:00.000-08:00

Today I had an appointment with my neurologist... he tells me that he only needs to see me once a year for follow-ups now... so I guess I am getting close to being "better". The vision thing is still up in the air but the doc is referring me to get a driving evaluation, so hopefully I'll be driving again soon. I'm sure I can at least handle my daily commute.

For some reason...

2004-10-28T14:15:00.000-07:00

... it is harder to get OFF disability than it is to go ON it... I am still fighting paperwork and such to make sure I get paid next time around. Keeping the fingers crossed...

Pick up one foot...

2004-10-26T13:37:00.000-07:00

... and put it in front of the other. Repeat as necessary. Sadly this seems to be the motto in work these days. Yes, at least I am back at work and will most likely actually resume getting paid soon. I suppose I should just be thankful for what I've got.

Been So Busy :)

2004-10-23T13:46:00.000-07:00

Really, I have been. I'll be better about keeping up with it next week, I swear! :) Must run and get lunch now. :D

Evening of the last day!

2004-10-19T20:38:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my last day in treatment... I'm very happy that I'll be going back to work soon. Strangely though, I find myself thinking there are some things I'll actually miss about day treatment at the hospital. :) Wish me luck...

Feeling Useful

2004-10-15T16:43:00.000-07:00

Today I helped my sister change the fill valve in her toilet. It is odd how this made me feel better/more useful. I realized I have been feeling very useless and less than whole since I've been home. I guess I need to do more chores around the house. :)

So much time wasted...

2004-10-14T15:17:00.000-07:00

I realized today I've wasted just gobs of time in my life... I could have learned a second language by now, gotten into better shape, whatever. I vow to do something useful with this time in the future, starting now.

If music be the food of love, play on.

2004-10-14T14:34:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I find it amazing that I get paid to do this. Oh wait, I'm not getting paid right now. I guess that explains the insanity. I wish that it did.

Las Vegas: Hell On Earth?

2004-10-12T15:21:00.000-07:00

I spent the past Thursday through yesterday in Las Vegas for my sister's 30th birthday... an unpleasant trip that taught me the true meaning of my doctors' warnings about "too much stimulation"... I have no doubt that if I had ventured there sooner my head would have exploded.

We left gobs of money on the tables and in the slots there... probably not the wisest course of action for someone who is worried about money but La really needed to blow off some steam so what could I say?

Tomorrow is the big day where I try to convince my shrink I am ready to go back to work. Stay tuned.

Am I wrong?

2004-10-05T16:40:00.000-07:00

Am I wrong for thinking that my parents' huge cash gift to my sister so she could buy a house, while giving me nothing, is wrong?

Feelin' Fine (So Far)

2004-10-04T11:05:00.000-07:00

Today is my first day without taking Neurontin... I've been on this medicine for pain for months, and weaning off of it for the last three weeks. So far, so good. In fact, I have almost no memories of pain through this whole experience, which is pretty neat considering I landed on my head at fifty miles per hour. :)

The vision is coming along... I'm still wearing my old glasses and so far, no doubles except when I first woke up this morning, which I just attribute to fatigue. Cool!

Roll up those sleeves...

2004-10-03T15:03:00.000-07:00

La and I are working on cleaning the two extra bedrooms in preparation to have them painted this week. It's amazing how hard it is to roll up one's sleeves and just dive into a task like this. It's also amazing how much crap can collect and how each drawer full of crap can be a little trip down memory lane. :) I found my first driver's license. Talk about a blast from the past!

I had a fairly exciting breakthrough today... my vision has improved enough that I can wear my old glasses. I'm not seeing double anymore, at least not as prominently as I was. A very encouraging sign, to be sure. In case I haven't mentioned it before, the part of my brain the merges the two eyes' images into one was damaged, along with part of my optic nerves. So for the past five months I've been seeing two of everything and I have lost the lower left quadrant of my field of view. I had special prism glasses that helped with the doubles... the loss of field is something I just have to learn to live with...

Work Avoidance Syndrome

2004-10-01T14:26:00.000-07:00

I am currently fighting a severe case of WAS... chatting on IM, web surfing, doing almost anything to avoid work. :) I suppose it's perfectly natural but doing the work at home thing really isn't helping me get engaged. Not to mention the fact that the corporate political climate is currently insane beyond explanation.

Alone (At Last)

2004-09-29T20:38:00.000-07:00

I am home alone in the house tonight. La is in Las Vegas with her friend. This is the first night I have been alone since May 1... strange. I still remember some of my nights in the hospital because I had a night watcher I used to talk to for hours. I had the watcher because I was a trouble patient and they were afraid I'd hurt myself. :)

Today I saw Kate at the hospital for the first time in about a month. She's the therapist I thought was my granddaughter and had a whole concocted science-fiction delusion about being involved in a revolution. Ah... good times. :)